Teaching Responsibility

I learn best from being a Mom.  Sometimes the lessons come hard and fast.  Admittedly  I do not always learn them the first time either.  I cannot always be sure I have learned them correctly either.  When we moved into our new home last fall we wanted to try to teach our oldest some life lessons of adulthood.  We wanted to teach additional responsibility as well as the value of money.  Nothing teaches the value of money as well as having to spend your own.  

For the first time in her life she was given the privilege of having her very own bathroom.  This is every teenage girls dream, especially after having to share a bathroom with four younger siblings as they were each in turn learning going through potty training. But that is another story all in it's own.  We told her that we would stock her bathroom completely ( toothpaste, soap, shampoo,TP, towels,etc.)for the first time, but after that she would be required to replace the items as they were used up.  Since she is the only one to use this bathroom except for her guests this seemed fair.

This has worked pretty well.  The only problem was when we got a notice from the water company that stated that it seemed we were using an excess amount of water and so they had come out to check for exterior leaks.  They suggested we check for interior leaks.  What we found was that the toilet in her bathroom was not functioning properly, but she did not know it was broke so just let it run.  Since fixing the problem this month our water bill was reduced more than 50%.  I am thankful for the water company's warning, but I am wondering if we should have focused more on teaching plumbing in her homeschool course instead of money management skills.  Ha!  Ha!

I might mentioned that for the last 10 yrs we have had our own well and did not pay for the use of water.  In spite of several droughts we never have had a shortage of water.  it has been an adjustment to all of us in the conservation of water not just from an environmental stand point, but from an economical one as well.

So the moral of the story is :

1. Teach you kids about what it means to manage money... so they will have money to help with the water bill.

2. Include basic plumbing in your home school courses.

3. Encourage you family in the conservation of our resources

Parenting After 18

My oldest daughter turned 18 last year and parenting has changed drastically since then.  Since I have younger children as well it seems that I am continually going through new phases of parenting and educating my children.  I am not sure at this point if it is truly easier when they are independent and legally adults.  It appears easier because they do not need your attention as much, but it is the other things that they need that make it harder.

My daughter keeps asking me for advice on what she should do next.  I truly believe this is easier when these decisions involve play inside or out.  What should I write my next book report on and what friend is better for me.  I keep asking myself how do I give sound Biblical advice that will not mess up the choices she makes for the rest of her life.  Yes, I want you to go to college and get a degree but I do not want you strapped with debt for the rest of your life because of education loans that you cannot pay off.  I am still paying on mine.  She wants to go to the nations and she will be hindered if she has debt to hold her here.

She has said to me," Mom I wish you would just tell me what to do and lay out a plan to get there like you have before."  I have to tell that i will help her, but she has to make the plan herself.  I have taught her all her life to go to the Word for answers, so she knows where to look.  I guess it just makes it easier when it is done for her.  So some advice I would give other Moms is as follows.

1. Start early because they will be grown before you know it.

2. Teach them to know where to look for answers because someday they will have to look for them alone.

3. Pray without ceasing for your children

4. Always take time to listen to them and give them the broad scope of their decisions.

5. Support good decisions and always question wrong ones (it is okay to be watchful)

6. Always support the young adult

7. Most importantly... let them know they are an adult and need to make adult decisions, especially when they are not acting like an adult.